That’s just me fooling myself

I live a new life,
Full of hopes and dreams,
Without You,
But hey, that’s just me fooling myself.

I sleep every night,
In the arms of a new woman,
In my imagination,
And wake up in yours,
But hey, that’s just me fooling myself.

I wake up every morning,
Knowing, you still love me,
Somewhere,
But hey, that’s just me fooling myself.

I wake up every morning,
Hoping your new love,
Does not keep you as happy as I did,
Am I kidding myself?
Of course I do.
But hey, that’s just me fooling myself.

I still love you desperately,
Am I really fooling myself here?
I don’t know.

You loved me,
You really tried,
You held on for as long as you could,
But hey, that’s just me fooling myself.

I never hurt you,
Never took more than what I deserved,
But hey, that’s just me fooling myself,
And now I can’t forgive myself.

So I live on,
Hoping, dreaming,
One day, you will still come back,
But hey, that’s just me fooling myself.

I clutched on to you so hard,
Dug my claws into you,
Thinking all this time,
You are the one who hurt me.
But hey, that’s just me fooling myself.

I still read,
All the love notes,
You never wrote me,
That IS me fooling myself.

Maybe you don’t love someone new,
Maybe you spoke to me,
Because you wanted to,
Even if it’s a bad conversation,
But hey, that’s just me fooling myself.

I know I hurt you,
Fought in my defense, still;
But hey, that’s just me trying to fool you.
And I still love you,
I don’t know if that’s just me fooling myself.

Don’t forgive me,
The day you do,
I will lose you forever,
Your hatred is all I have,
Don’t fool yourself,
You hate me,
You know that.
I hope you don’t believe it though.
But hey, that’s just me fooling myself.

When I redeem myself in your eyes,
I hope I can fool the Universe,
Into letting us be together,
But hey…

13th May, 2011
Siddharth Pathak


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