Until a moment ago, under the light my world seemed like a shadow; the brightness heralding its own worth, crashing down upon me with all its weightlessness. It still beats me down, blinding one and all who seek it, but now its dark, its pitch black. Near the window, I sit on the floor. It does not matter whether my eyes are open or shut. Nothing can be seen now, not even the shadows. All disconnection has disappeared.
Feels to me that a cloak must have befallen us and all the things around me, making us all equals under it; equally blind, equally silent, equally strong and equally weak. But the power of the self has taken over me. I am the only one who always had the power to move in my room at my will, when I was alone; and even now I am alone in this dark room. My power has a different meaning now. There is nothing to hide from and nor is there anything hidden from me. If I walk around in the dark anything that touches my body will be touched and hit by me too. Blind enemies always collide fearlessly.
Question – What lies beyond that I must be afraid of?
Answer – Nothing
Question – What is it that lurks beyond me?
Answer – Everything
All my choices have vanished in the absence of vision. I am not lost in the darkness, I am one with it. This is the beauty of this perversion.
The passing lights cast designs from the window to the facing wall, creating a kaleidoscope of blackness. I let go and the pores of my skin open up to absorb the ever pervading lines; my spirit touching the ethereal boundaries of the black.
For once I feel like I belong to purity and oneness and depth of all things.
Its amazing, the difference a simple turn of a switch can make to my life.
Rewritten – 24th December, 2010
Original/ first draft – 24th June, 2005